I know that many first time fathers have the same fears I had when doing their first diaper change, being left alone the first time with their newborn, and many other first times with a new baby. I look back and laugh now but it certainly wasn't laughing matter when these first time events occurred. Some thing as simple as the first diaper change was uncharted territory. I felt like I was on a sitcom with all the less than inspiring confidence I had. So just to let all you new fathers know, we all go through similar moments of shear terror interrupted with extreme comedy. So here's my story on the first time I spent some quality time with my son when he was just 12 weeks old. I'd change the names to protect the innocent but I was totally guilty. It was a brisk fall afternoon, when I heard the dreaded words. Honey, I need some time for myself". Can you watch Christopher (our newborn son of 12 weeks), while I go off for a little while? My heart began to race, beads of perspiration started to form on my forehead, my palms started to sweat. So I did what any good husband would do, No problem honey, take as much time as you need, we'll be fine". Did she buy it! Heck! Did I buy it! Well, it was to late to turn back now. After about what seemed like a lifetime, my wife was finally ready to leave. She said in passing , honey the only thing you might have to do is change your sons diaper. I can still hear the sound of the door shutting behind her and the car backing out of the driveway like it was yesterday. Ah.........the memories. Now it was just my 12-week-old son Christopher and me. The panic was real, and there was nowhere to hide. Luckily, before my wife had left for time to herself" being the loving wife and mother, she had written out a list of all the possible" (which translated in mom speak to WILL HAPPEN) things I might need to do. As I casually scanned the list", there was one thing that stood out to me. Yes, you guessed it! The dreaded diaper change. Diaper change, I had enough trouble dressing myself. I am the same guy who can burn water with few if any domestic skills. As my mind began to race with visions of Michael Keaton in the movie Mr. Mom"(circa 1980's for all you youngsters) with a gas mask and full body armor to change his sons diaper. I was instantly brought back to reality, with a faint cry from the nursery. It was only one or two whaa's, but quickly turned into an all out assault of wha wha wha. Which seemed so cute when mommy was here, but now it was just Christopher and I. Was he hungry or was it colic? (I learned that term from my mom, which translated means fussy baby with gas). Why would a male baby cry when they have gas? I thought most males turned it into an art form. Okay, I started checking the list my wife had left for me. Was he hungry? No, he just had a bottle before mommy had left. Colic? No. Oh No, It can't be. Please, not the diaper! Please, please, please. As I entered the nursery, the foul odor that hung in the air told me the story I did not want to smell. Yes indeed it was the diaper. That wasn't the worst of it. My mind again raced back to Bill Cosby this time How can something so small, make such a smell". One quick look and I realized we had full-blown diaper change emergency. OK, I can do this. I've seen it done a hundred times already. But wait, what's that I hear? It's Mom, coming home to save me. I ran out into the living room to great my wife with great hope for a solution. Her immediate comment dashed my hopes, yep she gladly passed the chore right back to dad. I slowly went back to the scene of the diaper change dilemma. OK, this is not a big deal. Changing a diaper is easy, you just have to approach the process logically. First we need to remove the soiled diaper and clean up the baby. Man, this is pretty intense. No baby wipe is going to handle this job, I need a water hose. Should I take my son outside for this operation? Nope, better not do that, the neighbors might complain about the mess, not to mention the smell. I know, I'll go get a wet towel and then throw it in the washing machine to remove the evidence. So I go get a towel, wet it down with warm water and begin the clean up. Gee, that wasn't so bad. Now where's the clean diapers, ah in the diaper bag. Lets see, I lay down the diaper then place my son on top. Fasten the tabs, check the fit, good to go. That worked. OK, no more crying and clean diaper applied. Hmm, that wasn't so hard although it was somewhat frightening at first. I may just catch on to this diaper changing business. So now that I had conquered a diaper change I was ready for the next adventure. Little did I know at that point I was still due a severe scolding on the using the towel trick, but that's a whole new story. So the moral to the tale is that on some things you just have to jump in and do it.
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