Most couples in the UK choose to get married in either a civil ceremony or a traditional church ceremony. When speaking to couples about their wedding plans I often find however that many do not know exactly what to expect from their ceremony or what is and isn't permitted. For example many couples are not aware that if they choose to have a civil ceremony they cannot include any music which can be construed as being in any way religious. The same goes for any readings - they cannot have any religious connection or content at all. Whilst both civil ceremonies and traditional church ceremonies have "set" order of services in which vows are included couples opting to have a civil ceremony can personalise their vows by writing their own if they wish. Any couple opting to do this must submit the vows they wish to be used to the Superintendent Registrar of the area in which they wish to be married prior to the wedding for approval. Once approved, the personalised vows can help to make the ceremony into a very moving occasion. The length of a typical civil ceremony will be around 15 - 20 minutes whilst a church ceremony will typically last around 45 minutes. Most civil ceremonies follow a very similar pattern - the registrar will introduce themselves to the guests and witnesses of the marriage and will announce the reason for the ceremony taking place. Following this brief introduction they will immediately proceed with the legal necessities of the wedding where both parties confirm that they are free to marry and know of no lawful impediment as to why the may not be married. Having got the legalities out of the way there will then be an interlude for any readings - often performed by close friends or family of the couple. Following the readings the couple will exchange wedding rings and the registrar will proclaim them to be married. After this they must sign the register and their signatures are witnessed by two witnesses who also sign the register. The registrar then presents the completed "Certificate of Marriage" to the couple and declares them to be married. Church ceremonies are often influenced by how well the couple are known by the officiating minister of religion. If the couple have attended the church in which they are to be married for some time prior to the ceremony then the ceremony is likely to be more personal to them if they are known by the minister. If for example one or both of the couple have attended the church in question since childhood then the minister may refer to this in his or her address and talk about specific instances they remember to add a little humour to the service. The order of service for church ceremonies also loosely follows a pattern. The minister will greet the bride, her father and bridesmaids, flower girls and page boys at the door of the church and lead the procession to the waiting bridegroom. The bride will link her left arm through the right arm of her father and he will walk on her left side as they proceed along the aisle of the church. The bridegroom meanwhile will be waiting on her right side. So at the head of the aisle the minister will have in front of him the bride with her father on one side and her bridegroom on the other. The minister will then give a brief introduction to the reason everyone is gathered together and announce the first hymn. Following the first hymn the marriage ceremony begins. Once the minister has asked "Who gives this woman in holy matrimony?" or similar then the father of the bride will take his daughters hand in his and passes it to the bridegroom whilst saying "I do". The father of the bride then retires to his seat and his part of the ceremony is finished. This is where the term "Giving her hand in marriage" originates from. The actual marriage part of the ceremony is very similar to the civil ceremony in that vows and rings are exchanged but the vows exchanged in church are those chosen from a selection in the order of service books for the various different religions. The officiating minister will read them from the book as the ceremony proceeds, guiding the couple as necessary as to when they need to respond or repeat their sentences after his lead. A register is also signed and witnessed during the church ceremony. Typically two or three hymns will be sung during the ceremony and there may also be a musical interlude whilst the register is signed. Some couples who prefer a ceremony in church may be precluded from having one because one or both parties may have been previously married. When this is the case such couples often choose to marry at a venue where they can also have a church or chapel blessing following their civil ceremony at a chapel linked to the venue. There are several castles and Halls in the UK who have such facilities and "marry" together very effectively the civil and religious ceremony - something which has become increasingly popular in the last 2 years. Copyright (c) 2010 FNS Weddings
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