If only we could maintain a healthy marriage and live the life we know we deserve! Perhaps one of the keys is to look for ways to relieve ourselves from those day-to-day pressures. Like looking after the children, working for a living to pay bills, washing, ironing, and all those other chores that pile the pressure on even more. The list, sadly, is endless! But that's not always possible is it? So many of these other (important) things can conspire against you and stop you from being the partner you know you should, could and want to be! It can be all too easy to forget that essential need to cultivate your relationship. Sometimes taking your partner for granted is very easy to do, but it's also easy to avoid - if you know how. To maintain a healthy marriage requires you to do some fundamental things. Here is just a few of them: Take time to make time - for each other. Make time for your conversations, and in a place which is free from other distractions. The television can be a big distraction so try turning it off so you can develop a real conversation with your partner. There are lots of things you can do... maybe order yourselves a healthy takeaway so you can have a pleasant dinner with each other regularly. To make conversation more enjoyable get into the habit of sitting at a table too... because it makes it so much easier to converse properly than eating in an armchair! Communicate effectively. The most important key to building a strong healthy relationship is communication. Effective communication requires you to be an 'active listener', and that means listening without making up your mind, beforehand, on the outcome. As well as giving you the opportunity to express your own feelings in a constructive way, it will also allow you to focus properly on what your spouse, or partner, is actually saying. Whatever you do, avoid being dismissive, ridiculing or rejecting your partner for what he, or she, may be saying. If you're feeling frustrated, and sense that you are getting angry, take a 'time-out', and agree to resume your conversation later. Always play fair. It's not possible to see eye to eye on everything... it just won't happen. Resolving conflicts depends on being respectful of your partner's feelings, even when you are in the middle of an argument. Even if you don't always agree on things you're discussing, let your partner know that you value what he, or she, is saying. If you ever feel that you're 'losing it' and that you may physically harm your partner, give yourself some breathing space by walking away. If necessary seek some help and guidance straight away. You may invite a lot of trouble not to do so. Even though your temper may be getting frayed, step back and count to ten, or maybe even higher. It may stop you from doing something you might regret later. Too summarize: remember to keep a smile on your face and take time out to smell the roses with each other. Work on communicating well; work at avoiding being overly critical; don't get into the habit of rejecting, or dismissing your partner out of hand. Try to treat him, or her, the way you always want to be treated. With a large measure of dignity, fairness, respect. It will help you to keep your sanity and, importantly, you can have a lot more fun with each other!
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