I had recently met a woman and the other we had a lunch. Then she ask me everything about my business. When she first asked me what I do for a living, I told her straight up. She seemed mildly impressed, but didn't give the "wow" reaction I usually get. But as she asked me more questions, I realized that she didn't understand at first. The more she knew, the more impressed, and intrigued she became. One question she asked, that I get a lot, is "what kinds of guys come to these bootcamps?" It's a good question, because it allows me to quell a lot of myths with my answer (and we all know how much I hate myths). People make a lot of assumptions about me when they find out what I do for money. But they make even more assumptions about my clients. People think that those taking the Drills are only after to become a womanizer. Others think that all my clients must be total losers. And many think that only a socially awkward nerd would take such an approach to getting better with women. The fact is, I've had clients that fit all the above stereotypes. But 99% of my clients are regular guys. So what do I mean by "regular guy"? I mean that I get a wide variety of guys, all with very similar motivations and attitudes. The "average joe" is a jack of all trades. A regular guy can be a doctor, a student, a mechanic, an entrepreneur. He can be short, tall, fat, skinny, handsome, homely, rich, poor, etc. So what brings all these kinds of guys together for this common cause? LOVE OF WOMEN. That's what it all comes down to. And that's what people don't get. If I could give a guy one piece of advice, and I only had 10 seconds, I would say one word. LOVE. Love yourself first. The most important person to you is yourself. Even if you have children, you are still number one. You could say that once you have children, your life becomes devoted to them. And that's true. But why? Because that's who YOU are. You take on that intention, because if you did not, you would feel bad, you would feel like you were failing yourself and your child, and you were not doing what you were here to do. So ultimately it comes back to you - you give to charity, you take care of others, you try to do good things, because it makes you feel like you are being yourself, you are actualizing what is inside of you. So being that you are the most important person to you, and your decisions, your thoughts, your actions are all YOURS and no one else's, you must love yourself and treat yourself good. When you are hard on yourself, it has the same effect on your moral as when a boss abuses his employees. Your self talk must be constructive. Your diet and lifestyle must be healthy. And you must make choices that empower you, and bring you long term success, not short term indulgence (which always sabotages your future). And you must love women. What I teach will not work if you don't love women. We teach the "pillars" of pickup, that manifest throughout Drills. For example, Appreciation. Appreciation is a focus that applies to, or permeates rather, all aspects of pickup: Appreciation in your eyes, in your touch, in your words...and the best way to apply appreciation holistically is to cultivate it as a mental habit. The Drills act as a shortcut to embedding this habit into your mind. If you are frustrated, angry, jaded, that's ok. You wouldn't feel that way if you didn't care in the first place. Why do women get under our skin? Because we care. Because it's in our nature to want to give to women, to pleasure them, to make them smile, to satisfy them. It's just part of a man's wiring. It's there, this drive, and it isn't going anywhere. So you must go with it and never lose sight of why you are reading this, why you need to approach a woman at the grocery store, and why you are going to take a Drills Bootcamp. You are doing it so that you can be a better man, so that you can be a source of love in this world - for yourself, and for women. And that's what I tell people when they ask me (sometimes with a skeptical smirk on their faces), what makes me such an expert on this topic. When you love something, the natural evolution is to become an expert on something. It's very hard to be passionate about something and not learn as much as you can about it. I love what I do, and I love women. That's what drives me, drives this company, and drives my students. Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo
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