Dealing with difficult people means really coping with difficult people who come in all shades and colors. In the Dealing with People cards, a full pack of them can be found. All of them can be really upsetting, frustrating and distressing for you. PULLING OUT A CARD FROM THE PACK Let's grab a card out of the pack and say hello to one of them right now. You will instantly recognize them. You will have met them many time in your personal life and in working with difficult people. WANTING TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS I am often asked when facilitating Dealing with People workshops and consultations about this type of person. See you if you can relate to this. "I feel I am dealing with difficult people at work who are really negative. There's one person in particular that always appears to have a negative perspective. I am not sure if I am just over-reacting. Maybe they are not as negative as I think? How do I know? YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN TRYING TO DEAL WITH THIS I know you've also dealt with this. Whether in dealing with difficult people at work or outside. They are located everywhere and come in all sorts of different packages. NEGATIVE NORMS HAVE COME INSIDE Such a person is a member of the the group I call the Negative Norms. You will always find them in your pack of Dealing with People Cards. But how do you know for sure if someone is a Negative Norm? FEELING NEGATIVE SOMETIMES IS PART OF YOU This is vital that you accept that you are human to feel negative sometimes. All of us have times when we feel down and negative about things in our lives. DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE NEGATIVITY TEST Frequently we can over-react towards others and construe their behavior in certain ways, especially when they are very irritating and frustrating. But here is a preliminary test to understand whether you are living with or working with a Negative Norm. TRY THIS TEST IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Use the Negativity Test. This test means listening closely to the language someone uses on a constant basis. Someone who is really negative has a negative mindset and constantly uses negative words. They go beyond cautious and wary. They are sure everything will fail and will tell you why. WHAT DOES A NEGATIVE NORM SOUND LIKE? They have the ability to take any situation and see only the negatives. They can take lemonade and change it back to lemons. They are all about pessimism without optimism. There is no silver lining in anything for them. So just listen to how they speak. Over a period of time, listen to them and note down whether they make positive or negative statements. If negative words and statements overwhelming outweigh any positive words or statements, on a consistent basis, then you are most likely dealing with a Negative Norm. YOUR UNDERSTANDING HAS NOW INCREASED This helps you understand why you too feel negative, depressed and down when with them. They have that knack of sucking any degree of optimism from you. Of course, you can use a range of strategies on how to deal with difficult people like this. But your most important strategy is to begin with using this test and see if you have drawn the Negative Norm card from the pack in dealing with difficult people.
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