Dealing with Difficult People at Work or in your personal life often means dealing with difficult people with a whole range of complex and complicated personality characteristics. What I often call the Dealing with People Pack of Cards contains a whole array of interesting cards. Many of them you have probably already met in your working or personal life. NEGATIVITY IN THE WORKPLACE There is no doubt you've met what I call the Negative Norms. We'll talk about them in another article but they are a totally negative person. They know how to take any suggestions and explain why it will never, ever work. WELCOME THIS NEW PERSON IN YOUR PACK But let's look now at another person in the pack. Again you'll recognize them immediately if you work or live with them. They are what I call the Overextenders. THE WARNING IS THERE ABOUT OVEREXTENDERS Interestingly, they are not often thought of as being difficult. They certainly do not exhibit many of the behaviors of others in the pack of cards. They are not overly aggressive, obnoxious, stubborn or hard-headed. In fact, they are very much the opposite. They are enthusiastic, energetic and obliging. However, their compliant and obliging behavior actually makes things harder for themselves and others. DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK AND HOME Their real problem is that they just cannot say NO to requests made by others. They cannot draw the line and establish boundaries. They never have clear boundaries about what they are willing and able to do and what they will not do. In simple terms, they are always overextending themselves. COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO PROMISE TOO MUCH In understanding Overextenders it's vital to know that they do things often to maintain peace and harmony. Constantly trying to please everyone else and certainly not themselves. But this often backfires and causes more disharmony as they over promise and just cannot deliver. THE UNWANTED RESULTS OF THEIR ACTIONS These Overextenders never want to hurt anyone, but when they take on too much that is often the result. They cannot do it all and break their promises to others. They cannot be relied upon to do what they say they will. In the end, the unfortunate Overextender is seen as totally unreliable by others. WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO ARE OVEREXTENDERS So are you trying to manage an Overextender at home or work? If you are then you'll be very frustrated, especially if you are relying on them to keep their promises. But is it you who is actually an Overextender? Then you're now on the road to stress and burnout. CAN AN OVEREXTENDER CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR? But can an Overextender actually change their behavior? Yes they can! But they are going to need help to do so. We'll look at how to help this person change in another Dealing with Difficult People article. But for now, understand that whenever you are finding someone extremely frustrating because they cannot say no to others, you have picked out the Overextender card either at home or in dealing with difficult people at work.
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