Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel on top of the world? The day is joyful and your brain is communicating with the rest of you? I have those days from time to time, and it manifests in me being extra helpful †as in, â€Thank you, Miss Helperâ€. It’s not a good thing! Because I teach sewing and patchwork quilting classes, some days I enter teacher mode and can’t seem to shut it off. I am driven to help, even if my help isn’t needed. I feel quite happy after giving my advice (or opinions) on any given matter, and then hit the depths of despair when I realize that what I said or wrote came through as snotty or know-it-all. Lovely! Now that I am also deeply involved in the world of machine embroidery, I find this happening more and more. Many who do machine embroidery do not actually know how to sew. They embroider on blanks and make wonderful items with a minimum of fuss. Problems arise, however, when they have a question or problem. These questions and issues get lots of responses of help, some of which are helpful and others that leave me scratching my head. These not-so-helpful comments are usually from others who embroider but don’t sew. If the issue is about embroidery designs themselves, then almost all comments are helpful, but the non-sewers often offer up information that shows they don’t really sew. This is usually when my inner teacher arises and ends up getting me into trouble! Like many fiber artists, I belong to several online groups. I don’t participate in all of them, but I do like reading messages for ideas, inspiration and instruction. If I have a truly helpful tidbit to share, I will. That’s not the type of help I’m talking about. No, what gets me going is when someone has a problem with their stitching getting messed up or their embroidery project getting puckers and things like that. Those who sew will usually ask for more information about what’s going on before answering, while the non-sewers jump in with the comments that have me scratching my head. Things like, â€ask your dealer if your machine is able to have the tension adjusted†and â€my dealer said that X-Brand machines aren’t meant to stitch with cotton threadâ€. I’m sure we’ve all seen comments like this, and many more just as strange. Non-sewers would know that all machines have the capability of adjustable tension and that all machines for home use were meant to be used with a wide variety of thread, including cotton, if they took the time to actually read their manual or a simple sewing book. Instead, they choose to listen to their dealer, who is much more interested in getting money for service and whatever brand of embroidery supplies they sell than helping the customer become a well-rounded stitcher. I get very angry at those who share dealer gospel because it just confuses those who are trying to learn on their own by using their manual and asking questions on their groups. It honestly is nice that they want to help. So, I get very, very angry with the dealers who do this. Since I can’t school the dealer, I do my best to offset these comments with something more truthful, in as few words as possible. I did that earlier this week in reply to someone who said they knew what they were talking about, but they were not just being helpful, but were also sharing things that weren’t even close to being true. This person is also a dealer. Uh oh! So, to make a long story short, I contradicted every point. I did it without being insulting, but that person chose to take it all as a personal insult and posted that they were going to go back into lurker status since their X number of years’ experience (half of what I have) isn’t valuable to anyone. I was left to be the bad guy. So, if you’re ever reading a message on one of your groups that seems strongly worded, don’t take offense. Chances are the person writing is trying to help, not argue. And it may be me!
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