I suppose every guy thinks he understands how the dating game works. You see a pretty woman, steel up your courage, approach her, and eventually ask her out. Sometimes you get lucky, but mostly it's rejection. That's how it works, right? Here's a secret: this is the WRONG way to go about this. The first thing to remember is that when you "ask a woman out", you IMMEDIATELY start a whole chain of mental and emotional events for a woman. She has to decide if she "likes you" and if there could ever be anything between the two of you. This is because women realize that when you ask them out, you're doing so because you're interested in them romantically. But when you do this, you're also doing something else that puts you at a terrible disadvantage! Asking a woman out puts her in the driver's seat of the situation because she instantly realizes that she has something you want. Have you ever heard of "supply and demand?" It's when the price goes up the greater the demand. When you ask a woman to go out with you, you want to do so in a way where she can't just say "Yes or No." You want it to happen on your terms, without setting off all the alarm bells and creating discomfort. You must remember, most guys do the same things that the next guy does. After they start talking, they ask something lame like "Hey, can I take you out?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?" This stuff is HORRIBLE. It does exactly the wrong thing to say. It makes you look like a desperate guy that needs a girlfriend. And if she's not interested (which she probably won't be), then it WILL create some discomfort in the future. Instead, you need to be tactful. You need to come up with a way to give the woman opportunities to hang out with you that are subtle and innocent. In other words - take baby steps. Engage the girl you like. Have fun with her. Joke with her. Tease her. Act like you are not interested in her at all - and whatever you do, don't be BORING! If she's engaging you back, laughing, and having a good time, that will give you a clue if she's open to seeing more of you. Then, it's time to hit her up with this line: "Hey, you seem fun. I'm going to be doing X tomorrow night, you wanna come along?" Of course, X is some type of activity you'll be involved in - going to a club, checking out a band, seeing a movie, whatever. The idea is that you are already doing something, and you are giving her the opportunity to participate in it! This is VERY different from just coming straight out and asking her on a date. It's more innocent, and the romantic pressure isn't there. After all, you were "already" going to be doing this before you met her, right? If she's game, ask her for her number or email address so you can get her the details. If she declines, let her know you're doing something the following week, and if she gives you her number or email address, you'll let her know about it. Either way - YOU WIN! You didn't ask her out, and you didn't create a strange tension between you. As well you haven't made her question your intentions. You've given her an opportunity to enjoy your company more. That's it. This is very powerful. Think about it.
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