When you and your partner broke up,you soon found you missed each other and it seemed like a good idea to get back together. Now things are not so good again and you are finding yourselves bickering and unhappy with each other. What are you going to do now? Usually the problem here is that the reason/s that lead to the original break up have not been addressed. You both just missed the comfort of the relationship and forgot about the uncomfortable parts.The fear of being alone reared its head and you started to rationalize that the relationship wasn't so bad after all. So you got back together - but now it's about to break again. If you both really want the relationship to work, you will have to be open and honest with each other and be able to discuss your concerns. Often it is the small,irritating things that become the last straw, things that you may not even have been aware of. Being open and honest with each other can be sometimes prove difficult, emotional and upsetting and so best done in professional counseling situations. You need to be able to tell your partner what they are doing that upsets you. Your partner also needs to be able to share with you what is bothering them. This does not mean you can indulge in criticism and put-downs. Constructive communication is what is needed here. You will need to be prepared for the fact that it may take several counseling sessions and some time before progress is seen. Disclosures of this nature can be very hurtful and you both need to be mindful of this and be kind to each other. Blaming each other is not useful. Clearing the air is going to go along way for you both to be able to recognize and accept the other persons point of view. Now that you are aware of the problems, you both have the opportunity to make the changes you can. It will take commitment from you both to face your own issues and do the work necessary to bring about the changes needed in the way you treat each other. If you both want the relationship to work and are willing to do whatever it takes, then the chances the reunion will be long lasting and happy are greatly increased.
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