Most men don't sit around as little boys and dream how their fantasy wedding would be. Little girls on the other hand could tell you all about it; who the maid of honor will be, the color of the bride's maid's dresses, where it will be held and the whole nine yards. Of course your dream wedding at the age of 10 and your dream wedding at the age of 25 are probably completely different. The point is that men don't generally have a strong opinion concerning all the many choices involved in planning a wedding. There are several things that you can do to get him more involved and willing to help ease the load. After all it is both of you that are getting married! We all know that there are many meetings that are involved concerning the choices that have to be made. Get your man involved in the process concerning the place of the wedding, reception, the cake, the catering, the invitations and décor choices. The key to get him to want to come to these meetings is to have what I call a pre-talk. Men don't grow up knowing all the processes that are involved in the planning of your special day. Before attending a meeting make sure that you discuss what each of you would like before you get there. Tell your fiancé how the meeting will go, what choices you will be making together and thank him for his involvement. Also, be sure to tell him enough in advance so he can plan for the meeting and put it on his calendar. You have probably noticed that he doesn't seem to be loosing sleep over the planning, and you can't seem to stop thinking about all the different options you have. To make things simpler, try to present your sweetie with a few choices instead of a whole book of choices. Find a few ideas that seem like a good choice and then ask his opinion. Do be willing to compromise. If he as a great idea or an idea that he thinks is great, be sure to look at it as an option. Don't just write it off right away because it wasn't your idea. If you have chosen an accent color to be salmon and he really detests salmon, choose another color choice, one that you will both be happy with. It may not have been your number one pick, but it can still be something that you like, and that he likes for that matter. Another great idea is to give him one project to take over. Try to make it something that he might enjoy planning such as the transportation. Most men like cars or at least might have a preference in what you ride off into the sunset in. Let him make all the arrangements without your involvement. It's okay to release. This is actually a two-fold great idea in that you can release a little stress, one less thing on your plate, and you can also have a little surprise. If your fiancé is planning a surprise resist the urge to tickle it out of him. Let him run with the idea. Maybe he'll do something really sweet like serenade you in front of all your family and friends. Don't forget to thank him for all of his efforts whether big or small. It isn't exactly in men's DNA to decide which type, and color of daisies the bouquets will be. Remember not to stress if he doesn't seem completely immersed into every decision. A lot of the process is creating a perfect balance of personalities; depending on how detail oriented, laid-back or high strung each of you is. Remember to be loving, patient, and not to forget how the two of you got to this stage in the first place. In the big picture you won't remember the little things that weren't exactly as planned; in some cases you may even be able to look back and laugh at the spoofs. Let the planning process bring the two of you closer together. Copyright (c) 2010 Stephanie Lopez
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