Controlling temper tantrums might be the most difficult thing in the world since they are some of the most out of control moments a parent and child will experience. For whatever the reason the tantrum starts, being able to step back from the situation is impossible, you are thrown into the mess and somehow are expected to make it stop instantly for the sake of others. Sometimes though the answer is easier than we think and it just takes a moment of clarity and reason to see it. Reward Good behavior. (Set up a points board with points awarded for good behavior and taken away for bad behavior points are tallied at the end of the week and a small reward such as a chocolate or an extra half an hour play time is given). Respect for others - This is the ability to show regard or consideration for another person. A temper tantrum is throwing aside regard for anyone except for the child himself. Because children first learn skills with their parents before going out into the world, putting an end to temper tantrums is the first step in raising an adult that shows respect for others. Imagine how this plays out in the adult world when Suzy or Johnny enter college or the business world later in life and are trying to earn the respect of their peers or employees. In the business world, you must give respect in order to receive respect. Avoiding injury is the top priority during a meltdown. If the child starts to hurt himself or others, you must intervene and move the child to an safer place. Get used to planning ahead for toddler temper tantrums. You can't expect your toddler to be a model of good behavior in public when they are hungry or tired. It is simply not realistic. Go shopping when you are both well rested and fed. Morning is usually a better time to go out. They will more likely to be tired and hungry in the afternoon. When the child throws tantrums at home, just put him in a room or his crib, where he can scream, kick and cry as freely as he chooses. Let him ventilate his frustration. Within a few minutes, he will tire and realize that there is no point continuing the activity. It may be significantly annoying hearing the child do so, but endure it. If the child is put in a room, then close the room until crying ceases. If you cannot leave your child alone while he is having an episode, just sit away from him. Do not lift a finger or try to pacify him, let him do it voluntarily. Avoid developing eye contact with the child during the tantrum episode. Establish routines and traditions. These add structure and predictability to your child's life. Start dinner with opportunity for sharing the day's experiences; start bedtime with a story. Here is that word again - be consistent. Structure adds security and helps form boundaries of acceptable behavior for the child. Do NOT pay attention to a child that seems to be having a tantrum to get attention. If you decide that ignoring the childs' tantrum feels right, never abandon the child. Stay in the same room with the child, and go about your activity without acknowledging the tantrum. Tantrums can be very frustrating, but it is important to realize that they are an important part of a child's development. One way to stop toddler temper tantrums is to avoid the situations that bring them on, and even reward good behavior on a regular basis. You can also try to give your toddler some opportunities to "make a decision" and gain some control. A great method for doing this is to ask a question where there is no yes or no answer. An example would be "do you want to get dressed before or after breakfast?"
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