As we age, we cherish the idea of living decades in our homes independently where we have raised our kids and maybe even babysat grandkids over the years. The memories bring warm thoughts and smiles to our faces. We can sit for long moments remembering a certain Thanksgiving when we tried a new recipe and how the whole evening turned out just perfectly! Other memories might be of the pets that were raised at the home - dogs, cats, pet lizards, maybe even snakes! All the fighting over the years about who would pick up the animal's "presents", feed the cats, give the dogs a bathâ€Who knows? Perhaps these struggles still go on between our independently living elderly parents! So, the proposition of leaving this house of infinite memories, independent living and smiles begins to loom closer as aging naturally continues. Those three porch steps that Dad never thought about suddenly are becoming much harder to navigate since his last hip replacement. Why does Mom enjoy Aunt Marsha's home more lately? Could it be because spending time over there means there aren't any maintenance and everyday tasks to do in their home? Is it better to move out of one's cherished home or stay, trying to convince one self it's worth the risk of falling or forgetting to take their medicines? When does one stick to this position or acquiesce to life's order of attrition? What Jennifer and I see time after time is how our elderly become very isolated in the name of staying in their homes and "living independently". Many of their elderly loved ones have either passed away or are living in Assisted Living Communities or Nursing Homes. When they are shown that Independent Living Communities and Assisted Livings are a far cry from Nursing Homes, and that there are bountiful activities and people to speak with and learn about, many times this opens up a whole new world for them, and passion for hobbies and interests is re-ignited. Suddenly, once again, purpose is a part of their lives! Somebody needs them, and that is powerful! Independent Living is the goal, of course. What we as family members and close friends of any elderly person need to keep in mind is: how difficult is it becoming to indeed still live in the home? Is the risk of falling becoming too high or real? How often are fresh groceries bought providing healthy food? Are the medications understood and taken correctly? Are medical appointments made? Are bills paid? Are there too many contributions going out to charities because being on the phone with a charity organization is better than not speaking to anyone that day? These are the tough questions that must be faced with our elderly to make sure their quality of life is the best it can be. Facing these issues, of course, has its level of difficulty, but in the end most seniors are happy someone is making these decisions for them or compassionately nudging them along to move in a direction that must be taken. As long as our elderly are not forgotten once they move into an Assisted Living or Independent Living community, their worst fears are never realized. Good Luck, it's never easy.
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