You may be looking forward to them, or dreading them, but one thing's for sure - you're almost definitely gonna get 'em. Everybody's experience of the immediate postpartum period will be different, but visitors to your hospital bedside (and to your home) are something that most families will experience. While you're still pregnant you may not have considered this aspect of life after pregnancy, but here goes with our tips for dealing with well meaning visitors. Initially you may find the excitement of showing off your brand-new baby to your enthralled family and friends can be one of the most wonderful things about the 'babymoon'. Everybody is eager to hear about the birth, cuddle the new baby and offer you their heartfelt congratulations. There is nothing quite like seeing the unbridled joy in your nearest and dearest's eyes as they behold the brand new little family member. However, there is a good reason why most hospital postnatal wards have strict visiting hours - visitors are tiring! However much you love them, you may find yourself tired and feeling ambivalent about having Granny and Granddad come round for the fourth time in a week. Furthermore, having lots of visitors in the very early days isn't necessarily the greatest idea from the baby's point of view. The scents that they are familiar with are the mothers' and fathers' - endless sessions of 'pass the baby' among friends, family and neighbours could confuse and over-stimulate a baby, contributing to restlessness and colicky crying. Following are a list of helpful ideas and tips that will help you negotiate visitors and make the most out of them! • You should never feel as though you *have* to have anybody to visit. If you are tired, tearful, not in the mood or simply enjoying some alone time with your family, you can always turn people away if you don't wish to see them. You are not public property, and neither is your baby! • Keep visitors in small groups of two or three at a time. This will stop visits from being too overwhelming for you, the baby and for any siblings who may be feeling confused. • When somebody asks if you need anything, think of something! Even if you don't need anything immediately, consider asking them to bring something not overly perishable - toilet roll, sugar, a bag of pasta or some teabags - that you will certainly get around to using at some point. • Encourage your visitors to bring you food. Family and friends generally love to do something useful for a new young family, and bringing a healthy home-cooked meal such as a cottage pie or casserole is one of the most useful things they could do. • Almost everybody will want to hold the baby when they come round. Use this time to put your feet up and have a cup of tea - not to run around making everybody else's! • If one of your visitors offers to do something to help, allow them to do so! Spending 10 minutes hanging out the washing or pushing the hoover around will be no big deal for them, but will make your day a lot easier and more comfortable. • Don't be scared to ask for privacy to nurse your baby or to take yourself off to nurse, if you feel more comfortable doing so. • If people keep calling and showing up on your doorstep, turn the ringer off the phone and disconnect the doorbell. It's your home, and you don't have to invite anybody in if you don't want to.
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