Let’s think about childrens parties. Now, who is usually left to organise the entertainment? That’s right: the same poor folk who are left to organise the food, clean up the wrapping paper, get the jelly down off the ceiling and tend to at least one of the little darlings until they are old enough to fend for themselves (which, these days, doesn’t seem to happen until they’re 30). The parents. Well, maybe it’s time for a change. Given that the parents have to do the whole entertaining and looking after job for the first two decades at least of a child’s life, why not leave that one stressful day in the hands of professional childrens party entertainment? The goal of entertainment, at children’s parties, has always been damage limitation. Put any gathering of little people in a place where there’s a ton of sugar and a centre of attention (the birthday boy or girl), and things are apt to get a little frantic. Entertainment is not so much a frill as a necessity on these occasions. It gives the little boys and girls something to focus their hyperactive communal energy on †which, if one is lucky, means one’s home comes out of the whole experience relatively unscathed. Now with such a big job to do, it makes perfect sense that the childrens party entertainment be left to a professional. If only because that leaves the parents free to act as roaming police officers, capturing wayward partygoers and patrolling the grounds to make sure that no-one has thrown up in a bush. How a parent is supposed to keep a proper eye on things, while trying to persuade a bunch of fractious sugar-addicts that pin the tail on the donkey is still fun, is beyond the grasp of normal human intelligence to work out. No †what all kid’s parties need, without reservation or exception, is proper childrens party entertainment. Some guy or lady dressed as a clown who can do magic tricks and make funny animals out of balloons. The kind of stuff, in other words, that no normal parent would have a clue how to do. Professional kids entertainers have a very special arrow in their arsenal †one that no parent can ever hope to draw. A pro kids entertainer is not related to any child in the room †and is therefore able to entertain impartially, without accidentally highlighting one or two guests to the chagrin of all the rest. That’s a skill that comes at an inestimable premium, when trying to control over excited small folk. There’s nothing that sets off an attack of the tantrums quicker than the birthday boy or girl feeling that they aren’t getting enough attention †or everyone else feeling that they’re getting too much. In the powder keg environment that is a child’s party, the only safe way to proceed is by hiring childrens party entertainment. It pays for itself in terms of safety, peace and an assurance that everyone is going to enjoy themselves. Even the parents.
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