Managing difficult people is tough work. Dealing with difficult people at work or in your personal life is never easy. However, most advice focuses on how you communicate directly with them. But planning and preparation is an important and often overlooked part of dealing with difficult people. So here are 12 of my top steps to help you in successfully preparing to deal with difficult people in any situation. 1. LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES AND EARS Start by listening with both your ears and eyes. Your ears will hear the verbal messages. Your eyes will see the more powerful non-verbal communication of others. Be aware of what others are saying and how they are acting. Often issues can be quickly dealt with before they become problems when you are aware of what is happening around you. 2. DO NOT IGNORE IT ALL Do not ignore it because it will not go away. When you are managing others do be responsive to their needs. Ignoring difficult people and uncomfortable situations is a disaster waiting to happen. Hoping it will all go away rarely works. In dealing with difficult people you will have to be prepared to take some action. 3. CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK Decide to change your perspective in managing difficult people. When dealing with others you find frustrating and stressful, see it all as a learning experience and not a problem. Be open to learn the lessons such difficult people bring you. 4. CHANGE YOUR RESPONSES When you alter your perspective, then your responses also change. You will become more able to see and use other strategies in dealing with difficult people that you would not have used before. 5. REMAIN AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE Strive to be as objective as possible. Avoid subjectivity. The more subjective you are, the more emotional you become. The more emotional you are the less able you are to think and act clearly. Stick to facts and remain objective. 6. STAY CALM AND PROFESSIONAL AT ALL TIMES To assist you to be as objective as possible see yourself as a calm, cool and collected professional. This does not mean that you are cold and heartless. But that in handling others you are professional and calm. 7. LOOK FROM THE OUTSIDE IN Strive to step further back and see the situation from the outside looking in. See yourself as an observer of the situation. This helps to give you a different perspective and see the big picture in managing difficult people and situations. 8. CHOOSE WISELY WHAT BATTLES TO FIGHT Decide carefully what issues you need to pursue and what you just need to let go. Sometimes in managing others you find difficult, you see everything they do in a negative light. You are then constantly fighting battles with them about everything. Smaller issues you would otherwise easily let go now become part of a constant battleground. 9. AIM TO BE OPEN AND HONEST Avoid playing emotional games in managing people. Aim to be as honest and open as possible. Being deceptive seriously damages your reputation with everyone else around you. Remember a good reputation can take years to develop and minutes to destroy. 10. REMAIN RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS No matter how annoying and frustrating you find others, remain respectful. Abusing others and being disrespectful only reinforces a lack of control on your part. Respectful communication should always be your goal. 11. HAVE EMPATHY FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING Remember that this person is a human being. They have both weaknesses and strengths too. Show some empathy and you may just be surprised how this can open the communication channels between you. 12. GET READY TO DIVE IN DEEPER Managing difficult people means having an awareness that how they act on the surface is only the tip of the iceberg. To really understand why a person is acting this way means being prepared to communicate at a deeper level. THE FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SUCCESS Using these 12 steps is an excellent foundation to assist you in dealing with difficult people in your personal life and managing difficult people in your working life.
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