"She's playing games with him." "He's playing games with her." "They're playing games with each other." These comments are always accompanied by stern looks of disapproval. But if I enjoy a game of tennis with my lover, nobody's going to accuse us of "playing games with each other". What's going on? Most people pay lip service to the idea that "mind games" are bad, bad, bad. But who among us never plays them? I submit that these games are not always bad; in fact sometimes they are good and even downright necessary to social interaction. I like to call them "social games". In particular: Men, if you are pursuing a beautiful woman and she starts "playing games" with you" (she almost always will), be aware that the motivation is almost always either defensive, or playful. That's right, some social games are actually fun, as long as they are not based on deception or malicious intent - indeed, a lot like enjoying a game of tennis. I also think that the benign variety are actually useful - the essence of a healthy social game is one of the following: (1) How can I trust what you say since I don't even know you? Don't tell me - show me!" As an example, a display of self-control is far more effective at establishing who you really are than simply walking up to a woman and saying something like Hi. You're very attractive and you should talk to me because unlike all the other guys that slobber over you, I have self-control and am willing to put friendship first." Any man could say that, but not just any man could prove it with his actions. (2) "Let's play!" Women generally understand better than men that seduction that is long, slow, and teasing is the best kind - and WORTH the wait. I'm not necessarily even talking about eventual copulation here - virgins play these games too. Real seduction occurs in the mind, although it is usually eventually expressed in some physical form. But as a caveat, some games are designed to exploit, deceive, and humiliate - sort of a technical foul.
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