Anytime there is a break up in a relationship one of the parties seems to immediately decide that it isn't what they want and they want to get back together. This can be an overwhelming feeling that controls everything you do. Don't worry it's actually very common and part of the process. It can be a matter of frantically trying to run through your mind what you can do to put the relationship back together. Not being sure of what happened, or where you go from here can be very depressing. You go back and forth between should I call, stop by and do nothing. Believe me, the best course of action at this point is to do nothing. Your ex may feel trapped if you start chasing. We all have seen the person who has just endured a breakup acting like a madman running after their ex or calling or just, in general, being stupid. It's best to give yourself some time to think about things. Your first reaction when you are this upset is likely to be not the best. Rather than acting without thinking and doing more harm to the relationship, let yourself be still with your thoughts. Then when you have had time to be logical you are likely to make better choices. There has been a breakup and trying to act like it hasn't happened isn't going to help you change anything. In your heart you need to accept the situation and hope that it is only temporary. Let your ex know that you have accepted the reality of what has occurred. By doing this the "moving on" process can begin. This will release a lot of the pressure you are putting on each other with constant questions and rehashing what went wrong. With less tension around the situation it allows your ex to consider what has happened and how they truly feel about you. If there is genuine caring it opens the door for your ex to return and for the relationship to start over. If it's possible, it is best to just not communicate for a while. This quiet does wonders in letting the dust settle. It's so easy for things to get out of hand. If you have a little time you can go back to thinking of what was so good about the relationship and why you wanted it in the first place. If there is any hope of getting back together your ex has to be able to remember just why the relationship is so important. Your ex will only want to get back together is they miss you and want you around again. You have to take an active role in creating time where you are not there and they can think about what your relationship really means. The next time you see your ex is going to reveal a lot about the possible future of the relationship. Not only what is being said, but the whole tone of the meeting will give you a lot of information about where your ex is emotionally. You have to be ready to watch for this and accept it for what it really is. Getting back together will happen if you both have grown and are capable and ready to make whatever changes are needed. If only there was some simple answer to "how to get back together with my ex". We all know that it takes two people in the same place emotionally at the same time to make a relationship work. Hopefully by giving yourselves some room and time to think things through you have ended up on the same page!
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