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Stress Relief - Coping With Stress In A Relationship

By: Don Saunders Home | Self-Improvement | Stress-Management


Living with someone in a close relationship whether they are your spouse, a domestic partner or simply the current love of your life, can cause stress. Note the use of the word "can" and not "must". Although living in a close relationship with somebody will inevitably produce potential problems these do not necessarily have to lead to stress.

Stress arises when you feel caught in an unresolved conflict and feel that there is something that you must do feel that you are in some way blocked from doing it or do not have the resources to do it.

Each individual in a partnership will have his or her own unique values and interests, preferred lifestyle and particular approach to life. Some individuals for example will have very dominant personalities and will confront any problems head on, while others will be very laid back and will allow any difficulties in a relationship to melt away like "water off a ducks back".

Living with another person and dealing with the many daily choices which a partnership presents can be difficult, especially where the choices of each party conflict with one another. Stress however normally only arises when one or both of the parties is unwilling to communicate or to compromise, adopt a stance that is unrealistic or an attitude that is simply downright unfair.

In some cases the answer is to part company but long before this happens there are a number of ways in which conflicts that result in stress can be avoided if the relationship has any real value.

Many problems that arise within a relationship such as concerns over money, health problems, conflicts with other family members and disagreements over child rearing, whether minor or major, are short lived. While each of these problems can lead to acute stress as the episode fades or a resolution is found and life returns to normal, so the stress disappears. However, when a series of problems occurred, or where either or both parties believe that they do not have what it takes to solve a problem, then chronic stress can set in.

It is rare for one single event to present such a problem that it cannot be resolved and most couples will work through difficult times together and often develop a stronger relationship as a result. There are always techniques that can be used to resolve problems and reduce stress within a relationship. The secret lies in the objective evaluation of each problem and then looking for a long-term solution to that problem. Reminding yourself and your partner of the values which first formed the relationship is also often an important part of any conflict resolution and can go a very long way towards lessening the severity of a problem.

One difficulty in resolving the problem of chronic stress is that individuals often feel that they do not have the necessary resources to overcome the hurdle that is creating the stress. In a relationship it is surprising how often the resource that you need is sitting right next to your.



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