The British population have been locked in a not so bitter dispute on a daily basis for many generations over how to brew a perfect cuppa. Kitchens around the country, in homes and in offices, have duals with teaspoons, using teapots as shields over whether bag removal precedes milk addition. The finer points of how many sugars is best will often result in a feud that could last till at least midday. As for those who believe that using tea granules constitutes making a real cup of tea, grab the sugar cubes and make a fort, because the cuppa supping masses will be after blood to avenge such heresy. The thing about a cup of tea is that everybody likes it done their own way and everyone regards it's making as an art. The Japanese have a ceremony dedicated to achieving the perfect cup, and it is quite common for those patient enough to wait for the result to not enjoy it one bit. Tea drinking has been immortalised in a number of literary delights, one of the most popular being The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams. The wonderful thing about the tea scene in this book is that it is associated with quintessential Englishness and a particularly odd setting, because, of course, the only thing that can be done when times are a little stressful or strained is to sit down and have a cuppa. Arthur Dent, the protagonist in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series is a massive tea fan. There is no other way to describe it; and following the demise of his home planet, the one thing he needs more than anything is a good cup of tea. Despite the advances of alien races and the technology on board space ships, the drink-o-matic, or similarly named drinks machine cannot brew poor Arthur the cuppa that he so desperately needs. It takes a lecture on the history of tea, followed by a meditative shut down by the ship's computer to process the information for Arthur to get the machine to understand the finer points of the national drink. Thankfully, just in time to avert a fatal disaster the ship's computer sparks back in to life, and presents Arthur with his much needed cuppa, which he needed even more due to the life threatening situation he had just been in while the computer would do nothing but contemplate the finer points of tea. Many people would attest that being able to request or make someone else the perfect cuppa is nigh on impossible, and the fact that this peculiarity has been immortalised in a science fiction novel is rather amusing. One thing for certain though is that the joy of drinking a perfectly made cup of tea is almost indescribable and is a moment that can only be ruined by the unexpected collapse of a freshly dunked digestive into the cup. Even the effects of the fabric of the universe tearing itself apart can be soothed by a cup of tea and a sit down, especially if a biscuit or slice of cake is involved. One of the greatest things about tea is that when brewed right, it is equally enjoyable at home at 7am in a pair of pyjamas with a slice of toast as it is at The Ritz at 4pm dressed in a ball gown and eating the world's most expensive scone. To avoid the daily tea disputes we should take responsibility of our own cuppa consumption and make the damn stuff ourselves. Eternal peace throughout the universe is not going to be possible without it.
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