The first thing to do to help you determine what you really want is to dedicate some quiet time to yourself when and where you know that you won't be interrupted. You don't want any distractions at all so turn off your computer and phones and find yourself a comfortable place to sit. Next, completely relax and try to clear you mind of any distractions and thoughts that enter your mind. This can be easier said than done, and it may well take concerted effort. For many of us, given the pace of modern life, this may actually be a complete novelty, but quiet time alone like this can, in itself, be incredibly therapeutic and a great way to relieve stress. This time is for dreaming and to think about what excites you, and the things you would most love to do. For starters, try thinking about: What would your ideal job or vocation would be? How do you, or how would you love to spend your time? What things have you done in the past that caused you great happiness and satisfaction? What you would love to achieve with your life? What you would do if you knew you couldn't fail? What dreams of your youth have been long lost in day-to-day living? How would you live your life if you won the lottery? What would be your ideal lifestyle? I'm sure you can come up with many more areas to think about. Write everything down as it enters your head. This is one of the most important parts of the exercise, you must write everything down. Why? The act of writing down your thoughts gives them emphasis and clarity. It makes them more than just dreams - and you don't want to forget anything. Don't put any limitations or restrictions on your thoughts, and whatever you do, don't try to be logical or even realistic. Remember, you are trying to establish the things that would bring you the greatest satisfaction and fulfilment in your life. Just let all your thoughts flow freely and write everything down. What you're doing here is creating your vision of your ideal life. Don't be vague, wanting a million dollars is of little use - exactly what would you like to do with it and why do you want it? Try to be as clear as possible about your desires and fill in as much details as you can. Once you've written down everything you can think of, you can then be a bit more logical. Look at everything you've written down and put it in order of importance, or try to group things, for example, into tangibles and intangibles; short, medium and long term; or family, personal, career, financial etc. Look at how they could relate to each other. For example, could you make a living doing the activity that you most like to do in you leisure time? You may not want to take more time to look at what you've written, and perhaps rework it or add more details in a day or two. If you've done this exercise properly, you should have in front of you a list of the things you truly want from life that would make your life as fulfilling and happy as any person alive. These dreams and this vision are yours and yours alone. They reflect your deepest desires and should be based on your personal values as a person. What happens next is entirely up to you. You can rationalize that you were just dreaming and think that you could never really achieve these 'fantasies'. You may decide it's not even worth the effort of trying and forget all about it. Or you can set about making plans to achieve the dreams that would create your ideal life. It's worth remembering that very few people reach the end of their lives and look back and wish they'd done less, or tried fewer things, or wasted more time, or taken less action or fewer risks. If you think you can't achieve your ideal life, you're probably right. But if you truly believe you can achieve it, you're also right. The choice is yours and yours alone. "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is were they should be. Now put the foundations under them." - Henry David Thoreau
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