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What Is It Men Actually Want

By: Lewis Clifford Home | Self-Improvement


In the movie "What Women Want", Mel Gibson gained the power to be able to read a woman's mind. The premise of the movie is based on the notion that women are complicated to understand, and that men are in fact simple beings. But the reality is for a lot of women, it is men that seem to complicated to understand. A lot of women would like to be in the equivalent movie "What MEN Want". The problem is, that men are not very forth coming about revealing their emotions (unless it is Sport!), so even if a woman thinks she knows what he is thinking, she cannot be sure. And here in lies the problem. So to be successful in relationships, to be the sort of woman who men adore, it is really important to understand what and how men really think. But where do you start? There have been numerous books written on the myriad of differences between men and women, such as "Women are From Venus, Men are from Mars". So to really understand men, and to discover what men really want in a woman, it is worth just focusing on some key areas of difference. You maybe surprised by some of these differences, as they may seem to fly in the face of commonly held thoughts about the way men think - but when you understand WHY men think like this, then understanding men will become a little more straightforward:

1 - It may surprise you, but men are actually MORE sensitive that women. Men have egos, and those egos tend to be easily damaged. Emotional damage in men runs deep on long. Culture discourages men from emoting too much, and that built up retention of emotion can fester. Men are scared. They are scared of losing control, and what is the quickest way to lose control in a man's eyes- let emotion take over. As an English man, the stereotype of the "stiff upper lip" is more often than not true, and it is just an example of a man's fear of getting "too emotional".

2 - Men hate conflict, especially emotional conflict. It is said that a Man's innate primitive instinct is to fight, to be top dog, but conflict for men is not just a case of problem solving. The kind of conflict men like is the simple winner and loser scenario. It is once again about being in control. A boxer is controlled in his aggression, for fear that emotion will take him away from his fight strategy. In relationships, conflict will always be highly emotionally charged. Exactly the kind of conflict men hate. They end up desperately trying to control their emotions, for fear of them taken over - and this is often manifested in men going quiet. It is just a basic coping strategy that men employ. It is highly frustrating for women, who in a relationship argument, just want "to have it out", there and then. Women should not see a man's "silent treatment" as an affront to the conflict, it is just us simple men struggling to control our emotion.

3 - Men actually want to settle down and get married. Now, I know what you are thinking, past experiences may have served you up with a trail of men with "commitment-phobia", so this maybe hard to believe. Being the eternal bachelor has its appeal, and for a lot of men they think that they will always be young, free and single and loving it. Truth is, men do not stay young, and being free and single can get VERY lonely for men, especially when they see their mates settling down, and moving onto the "next level" with relationships and starting a family. There comes a time in a man's life when he fears looking around and finding he is the only one left at the party. Men want a partner that they can trust, and grow with - it is not just about the beauty, they still want an element of a best friend, and that is where the trust bit comes in. They trust their mates (men friends), and so when they find a woman they can trust - bingo!

At the end of the day, with have just touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to being the kind of woman that men adore. Understand the inner workings of a man's mind, and you are well on your way to success with men. If you really want to get to understand the inner workings and complexities of men, and be super successful with men, then I highly recommend a fantastic book called "â€The Woman Men Adoreâ€and Never Want to Leave.†by Bob Grant, L.P.C.. This guy has has over 17 years private practice as a Professional Coach and Counselor, and the information in the book is dynamite on how you can make men powerless to resist you.



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